Austin
by: Lori Doner Jones
Austin - by Lori Doner Jones
Several years ago, my youngest daughter discovered hedgehogs. These sweet little balls of cuteness that are forever featured on Pinterest, captured her heart and made her long for one of her own. She was apparently “called” to a much more unique and exotic pet than her cousin’s more “ordinary” guinea pig, and was determined to experience ownership of her very own little hedgehog; so she set out on her campaign. Over several months of coercion and persuasive essays written to her parents, she made her appeal. She studied them on YouTube, she did her research and found a breeder, she chose the one she specifically wanted and finally convinced her father, (more than her mother) that a hog was in her eminent future, and so, he relented, and we made the trip to pick up her hog of choice. She was delighted and overwhelmed, having achieved her dream.
She named him Austin and was excited to get him home and settled in his new habitat….then the dream became reality.
When she went to pick him up at home, he made a huffing noise and rolled into a ball and became next to impossible to touch or handle, as his quills extended in fear, like spears all over his tiny body! Faced with his new surroundings he went into protective mode. It took little, to no time at all, for the expectation of this “Pinterest” ideal to slip away.... Excitement gave way to despair.
Seeing her disappointment, I did what moms do; I tried to fix it. I called the breeder and though I never intended to even touch this prickly rodent, in order that her dream didn’t disappear entirely, I needed to do what was needed.
I went to visit the breeder on my own, and spent about an hour or so, with her, as she graciously taught me how to handle her hedgehogs. How to scoop them up loosely from underneath with confidence, as to not get poked and how to calm them when their instinct is to ball up and extend those prickly quills. My arms were red with quill marks and there may have been some bloodshed, but I finally got the hang of it. I had to overcome my fear, so I could help my daughter overcome hers, and reclaim her dream.
The guinea pig might be more common and boring, but it's also far easier to get a cuddle from a guinea pig, than the mini porcupine that Peyton chose to be her new friend.
Leave it to my child to pick the hard road....the one that is full of needles.
After all the hard work and longing, the begging and pleading, all the anticipation and the dreaming, when Peyton finally received her heart's desire, the reality of it, didn't quite live up to the dream.
Austin, wasn’t quite what she expected – he’s wasn’t easily won over but, he was unique and special in his own way! Much like life itself, Austin had some prickly pieces, but when handled correctly and patiently, he would flatten down his quills and show us another side of himself.
Instead of stabbing swords, his armour became like coarse layers of rice on his back – not soft like a kitten, but not dangerous either. From the ball he’d roll into, a sweet little nose would extend first, sniffing and poking, then some inquisitive little eyes would appear. His aggressive huffing would turn to tiny little squeaks, as he became comfortable. Then he would clamour and crawl into a warm, safe place in the corner of your elbow, and snuggle in. We discovered he did in fact, like to cuddle (in his own way), it just took a little while for the two of them to get used to each other. We discovered he was sweet and full of adventure, and even a few Pinterest worthy moments.
I wonder if life is giving you some quills right now, when you were hoping for your “inspired, photo- shopped” perfect moment. I wonder if your reality is a little bit of a let down from the expectation you had imagined. I wonder if you’re wanting to trade your unique, uncomfortable experience for one that is more predictable and safe. I wonder if you’re going to miss out on something great – just because it’s not the way you expected - or the way you wanted.
Or maybe like Austin, you are feeling scared and uncertain, and you are balling up; extending your prickles and quills to those around you, creating a painful barrier between you and someone who wants to scoop you up, love and care for you.
Maybe it’s God you are resisting. Maybe you’re afraid to come out of hiding, and be vulnerable, and catch a glimpse of what God is wanting to do. Maybe He’s drawing you close and you’re running away?
I think we imagine our Christian experience is going to be a cuddly kitten when it’s sometimes more like Austin. We anticipate that once we give our lives to Jesus, everything will make sense, and everything will be joyful. If God is for us, who can be against us...Right? And yet, maybe this is not always the way it seems in the moment. Maybe the "plan" you had for your life has been shattered and what's left behind is a story that you don't want, or maybe you got exactly what you wanted, but now that you have it, the reality isn't so appealing anymore. Maybe it’s going to take a lot of work to adjust to a new reality that comes as a bit of a surprise or disappointment.
This is my struggle; to release my expectation and let God move, how God wants to move. To trust that if He said He’s working all things for my good, that HE IS! He will teach me to handle the quills in life, and how to navigate the uncomfortable, painful moments, while keeping hope that the Pinterest worthy moment – or better still - the GOD MOMENT is somewhere on the other side. Even if, or when it hurts, there is something worth pursuing and something He has for me that is better than my expectations could ever dream of - even if it looks different than I imagined.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
Prayer: Lord, help us today to not give up HOPE. Help us to trust you, when we feel let down, and disappointed by our lost expectation. Help us to reach out, when our instinct is to self-protect and hide. Help us to venture forward when life gives us prickly quills and hurts us, and help us to lean into you; to seek glimpses of you, so that we can see beauty in all your ways, and know that You are for us. We love you. In Jesus’ name, Amen
Lori Doner Jones leads the Women’s Ministry at Springvale Church, and is the founder of REVIVE. REVIVE challenges women to seek God with determined purpose by being a space of opportunity and encouragement for women who are called to teach and speak. Lori is a wife of almost 21 years and mother to two sweet daughters.
Learn more about REVIVE, access its devotionals, or view its current video series here: www.readyforrevival.ca.