Beautifully Broken Worship
by: Rebecca Doner
Beautifully Broken Worship
I remember when I had four little children that the effort to make it to church on a Sunday was enormous - especially if we wanted to arrive on time. I remember wondering if there was really any point in me being there as I never felt like I could focus on anything. I missed the worship the most…being able to lose myself in the song and commune with God without being demanded of and distracted.
God, taught me something in those years, about true worship, about Motherhood and about who He is, and so this is a blog for all the mothers (and fathers) of little ones who have maybe felt the same as they faithfully bring them to church every Sunday.
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew 5:16
I see you there, standing in the pew. I can feel the weariness in your tired arms as you are poised there with them full. Quietly you are rocking and quieting, longing for sleep to come, so for a moment you might be able to soak in the worship.
While you try to gain focus on the music there are small voices asking, arms reaching...needing and wanting more from you, and you feel tired. You feel there is little left to give, but you remain.
Then, arms full and attention torn, somehow you find a moment to quiet your heart, close your eyes and maybe even raise a hand to the One you came to meet. Yet as quickly as that moment arrives it feels like you are pulled away again.
My heart sinks for you as I remember those moments, that feeling is so familiar to me. I find myself watching each of you and loving you so much, and being so thankful you are there, in our pews.
I wonder if like me back in those moments, if you wonder why you bothered to come.
Or if you wonder if it matters that you are here when nothing seems to get your full attention?
Let me share something with you that I have learned... God hears the faithful cry of your heart. He sees your weary eyes and welcomes your worship....even when it is beautifully broken.
The fact you come faithfully week after week means you probably know this...but have you considered this?
They see you. They may not fully understand what they see, and it may not mean something to them today, but they see you.
They see you show up even when you are exhausted from the week and the morning has gone all wrong. They see you place value on this place, these people and see you have purpose for coming. As they tug, squirm and call out to you, they hear a song flowing from your heart as you sing to someone you love. They see arms raised and eyes closed...and while they might prefer that they be focused on them, there is a sense you are busy somewhere else important for a moment.
What they see is worship, in one of its most beautiful forms. Sincere, unscripted, and unrehearsed. Like a drink to parched lips, worship with a desperate need for filling to get you through another week, or day or maybe just the morning.
Their little minds do not comprehend it yet but, every time they look at you, their eyes are being drawn upwards towards Jesus. So, broken, tired, disconnected or weary...come, come and worship the King.
Let them see how beautiful it is to meet with your Father.
Rebecca Doner is wife to her high-school sweetheart, and mom to four amazing kids. She works full time in business partnership with her sister-in-law. She serves on the Elder’s board at her local church and is actively involved in several ministries there. She is a speaker who eagerly uses her voice to impart to the God's love, life, and truth to the world. Most recently she has felt led to serve on the executive team at Gather Women - a national women’s ministry, and in her ‘spare time’ is studying for her MTS (Masters of Theological Studies) at Tyndale Seminary.
www.rebeccadoner.com IG: @lifeinoverflow