A TRUE Tribe
by Rosalind Ononeze
Sisterhood. This word felt like a bomb that had been dropped in the middle of my life. I was a young woman, engaged to the love of my life, about to embark on the most amazing journey but where was my sisterhood? I began to loathe the word but the sad truth was that deep in the crevices of my inner self, I was searching for an experience of what that word entailed. At that point, my life appeared to be a saga of broken relationships, betrayal, gossip, envy, backbiting, and so on and so forth. It was so much easier for me to be friends with guys! No drama. No mess. No problem! Women ended up hurting me. I was just emotionally exhausted. I had given up.
I vividly remember sitting on my bed and gazing out the window. My mind ventured to my childhood chapter books that I loved to read like “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” and “Babysitter’s Club”. Why was I struggling to make this a reality in my own life? As my mind began to go down a dark path of “woe is me”, I heard the Lord speak to me clearly.
“If you want good girlfriends, you need to learn to be one, daughter. So, let’s start with you and I. Are you a good friend to me?” I then proceeded to cry my eyes out before the Lord. He began to point out that sometimes I expect that these women would just GRAVITATE towards me but I was unwilling to take a risk and put myself out there. Was I someone that a woman would want to be around? Was I a woman of substance? Was I only looking for someone to chat on the phone for hours on end? I realized that whatever I was looking for in another girlfriend, I needed to become. I needed to become a woman who understood the power of prayer, who knew what it was like to hear from God on a regular basis and who nurtured and loved the people in her life but most importantly who understood the meaning of loyalty, honesty, and joy in Christ Jesus.
I realized that whatever I was looking for in another girlfriend, I needed to become.
I would be a liar if I told you that my past friendships were 100% my fault for their failure. But, surely, I had a part to play. It was that part that we began to work on together, like a craftsman on his masterpiece. Psalms 28:7 became my bedrock. It says, “The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart trusts in Him and He helps me.” The days when my pain was too raw to handle, He cradled me and gave me strength. I trusted in His perfect work. He promised to be my helper. He promised to shield me from the Enemy and even myself – because sometimes we are our own enemy. He took me on a journey of understanding my self-worth and becoming the woman I wanted others to be in my life.
He took me on a journey of understanding my self-worth and becoming the woman I wanted others to be in my life.
About 3 months later, I met the most amazing human beings, who I now call my sisters. As I write this, we have been friends for over seven years to the glory of God. It’s not that we don’t have bad days or that we don’t do or say hurtful things. It’s that we have learned to be the women we want to be around. We have learned to be full of grace, abounding in mercy and love. We tell each other hard truths. We cry and laugh together often, and we will soon be launching our own ministry to other women teaching them about love, relationships, and marriage from the Godly perspective.
It’s that we have learned to be the women we want to be around.
When I learned to be a good friend to the Holy Spirit, He felt confident that He could trust me with the hearts of other women of substance.
Rosa, a Ghanaian by descent, was raised in Canada by her two incredible parents. Rosa has a passion for prayer and spurring the world around her towards intimacy with Jesus. She is a teacher by profession and enjoys writing, fellowship with her friends and family, and leading her young adult ministry with her husband. Connect with Rosa on Instagram: @iam.rosalind