For The Days You Can't Sing
by: Rebecca Doner
I remember that Sunday well. I stood there in the same familiar pew that I usually do. My kids were half singing, half colouring and I was as always, worshiping in a kind of focused distraction amidst their busyness. The worship team began to sing "King of My Heart" and as the chorus came I found myself with my eyes closed singing along "You are good, good, oh. You are good, good oh." Followed by, "You're never gonna let, never gonna let me down..." I was lost for a moment in the truth of those words.
I also remember just months before when I had sat in almost the same spot and heard the same song and stood frozen in sadness, unable to join in. At that time I had friends who were in a place of desperate fear and suffering. I was walking through that with them and it was incredibly hard.
On that Sunday I had stood there and despite what I knew to be true about my God, I could not sing those words.
I knew He was good, but the things that were happening were not good. I knew that He would never let me down, but I felt like I was being let down, and so were people I loved. Sadness, fear and a lack of understanding gripped my heart and I could not manage to sing along without bursting into tears. I needed the truth of those words.
This time, unlike like before, I stood and sang confidently, assured in the God that I know. My deep encouragement to you is that maybe you will find yourself in a moment like I did. A moment where you struggle with conflict between what you are experiencing and what you know to be true and maybe the inability to reconcile those things like me, will render you frozen. If that happens, or has happened, it is okay...and you are not alone.
Our worship leader once said something beautiful. She asked for us to sing loud for those that might be unable to because of what they were going through.
She reminded us that, being a community and church family means lifting up and offering encouragement to one another.
It was perfect.
As you read this, you read along with who knows how many other women and although we may not all be in a room singing together we can contend for one another. We can encourage, lift up and pray for one another, even when we don't know each other's names. We can use our voice for those in this season who can not at this moment find words for themselves.
As the song drew to a close I was left with the powerful truth that the God of yesterday is the exact same God from months ago. Months before while I was drowning in pain and fear God was the same. His love was the same, His plan was the same and He was the same. In the time between when I wrestled with possibilities and finding acceptance in worst case scenarios, when I asked daily "Do I believe what I say I believe?", He was the same.
The difference in my experiences on those two Sundays was not that God had changed, but that I had changed, I believed the truth of those words.
Dear friends when you look around on a Sunday you never know what is happening behind the faces and smiles that you may see. So, just love them, all of them. Stand alongside them, extend compassion and sing...sing confidently, offering through your words strength for those that need to be reminded of what you may feel certain of in that moment - that God is good and that He will never let you down...today, yesterday and forever!
Rebecca Doner is wife to her high-school sweetheart, and mom to four amazing kids. She works full time in business partnership with her sister-in-law. She serves on the Elder’s board at her local church and is actively involved in several ministries there. She is a speaker who eagerly uses her voice to impart to the God's love, life, and truth to the world. Most recently she has felt led to serve on the executive team at Gather Women - a national women’s ministry, and in her ‘spare time’ is studying for her MTS (Masters of Theological Studies) at Tyndale Seminary.
www.rebeccadoner.com IG: @lifeinoverflow