Kingdom Motherhood
by: Rebecca Doner
I often find myself sitting quietly, watching my children be themselves, doing everyday things. I notice the way they change expression, the sound of their laugh, or how they fight sadness and fear in moments that call for bravery. I want to know them, to know they are doing well on the other side of what I can see. Sometimes I wonder if I have done enough or been enough and to be honest there are times when I watch, desperate to be all they need, aching to support them, and I'm left uncertain.
With the arrival of my first child I experienced the familiar pressure of being a 'good mom'. As more children came I wanted to be there and meet every need, which I suppose is natural. I longed to help them become academically sound, emotionally and spiritually mature, to guide them through relational drama, to keep them safe, and to offer support in both success and failure. Mostly perhaps, for them to know that I meant it every night when I said 'I love you No. Matter. What." While many of these desires have merit, I still found the true purpose of my motherhood elusive.
That changed forever when in still quiet moments over passing years God revealed something that made all the difference in my life. God reminded me that they are first His children and that the only purpose I have that really matters in the end, is to introduce them to Him. My heart had a weight lifted from it as I received the answer I'd been waiting for! I had found my purpose, a kingdom-focused purpose. This means everything I do, the simple, the painful, the frustrating, the frivolous and fun, and even the mundane all have the same beautiful and amazing purpose - to offer motherhood in a way that allows God to work in and through me so that my children may know Him. I think most of us have a sense that our children are 'God's children too' as though we have some sort of joint custody. However, this is a realization that while those of us who carried our children may feel like we knew them long before anyone by their movements and kicks, there is only one who they belonged to first. Scripture tells us that God knew us before HE formed us in the womb. He had our children well in mind and heart long before we ever dreamed of being parents.
'Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you before you were born, I set you apart' Jeremiah 1:5
I find now as I watch them and consider that long before they were mine, they were His, I am overwhelmed and amazed. Amazed that somehow in His sovereignty He determined me to be a mother to his children for however long He allows. Sometimes I still have to breathe deep to consider and carry the weight of that responsibility in full. Yet, the beauty is that when I wonder if I am enough I pause and remember that God did not choose me because I had everything I need, He chose me so that He might provide for His children through me. I see this in His word where instead of instruction on school, screen time, sports, or meal plans, I find verses like:
'These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.' Deuteronomy 6:7
So, with kingdom purpose I still care for them in all the ways I did before. I drive them everywhere, play with them, teach, encourage and comfort them, and I always will, but I see each moment as opportunity and pray that God might use me to reveal Himself to them. If you ask me what I want for them now, years later, more than anything it would be that they would be positioned in a way that they are inclined to God's call and when they hear His voice it will be heard as the familiar voice of their Heavenly Father.
Motherhood for me has become a beautiful masterpiece where the unseen happenings of God will take your breath away if you let them and where planting roots and cultivating Godly heritage happens in the moments in between life. May God show you today that you too were appointed to this moment to be a mother to His children. May He remind you that He will supply you with all you need and is waiting to reveal himself through you to your children in each passing moment of your day.
After all, we are called to be kingdom mothers.
Rebecca is a mom of four who married her high-school sweetheart and lives in a small town north of Toronto, ON. She currently leads Women's Ministry at her local church as well as serving on the church board. She is part of the leadership team for Canadian Women World Changers. In 2020 she has started some new adventures which include interning with Gather Women and beginning study at Tyndale Seminary. She has a passion to come alongside those suffering and lead them into peace.