Naming Your Threshold
by: Vanessa Hoyes
I thought that the turning of a new year would fulfil the sense of threshold crossing that I could feel stirring in my soul. But what was interesting is that even as January first 2021 emerged, it didn’t do that.
And oh wow, by January 7th and lockdown and curfews in our province, and the deep set discouragement and exhaustion you could feel in the hearts of people, I just knew the threshold was not crossed yet.
So it is not a calendar threshold, and it is not even a ‘pandemic is done’ threshold. It is something much deeper. Much more significant.
Personally, I feel it in my own life. I sense it for my marriage, my family, my church, my community, and I do have to say, in a connected sense, to the whole world around us.
Other people may call it a tipping-point.
Whatever you would like to describe this precipice, then name it. And find new words for it.
John O’Donohue says “We have fallen out of belonging. Consequently, when we stand before crucial thresholds in our lives, we have no rituals to protect, encourage and guide us as cross over into the unknown. For such crossing, we need to find new words”
For us personally, this time last year, we were awaiting news from immigration that guides our next steps. This is not about going anywhere, but more about how to position our family over the next few years that secures their long term future, and anchors us in a land we set sail for. It’s a waiting season in that arena.
We are having conversations within our marriage now about decisions that no longer just impact the dreams given to Andrew and I, but we sense this legacy for our daughters. We are making decisions for a decade.
We have been in such an unknown season. Like you all. So in it, we knew to dig deep on all the NORMAL.
When things feel out of your control it is really important to do the normal, basic things well. Eat, sleep, exercise, connect, lean into your spiritual disciplines etc.
But it was important to also name what was not normal. And name the feelings. Name the tensions. Name the grief. Name the difference.
Can you name the threshold?
Yes you can name the promise, but how about the threshold.
At any time you can ask yourself: At which threshold am I now standing? At this time in my life, what am I leaving? Where am I about to enter? What is preventing me from crossing my next threshold? What gift would enable me to do it?
John O’Donohue in Bless This Space Between Us says:
“A threshold is not a simple boundary; it is a frontier that divides two different territories, rhythms and atmospheres. Indeed, it is a lovely testimony to the fullness and integrity of an experience or a stage of life that it intensifies toward the end into a real frontier that cannot be crossed without the heart being passionately engaged and woken up.”
He also says, “At this threshold a great complexity of emotions comes alive: confusion, fear, excitement, sadness, hope. This is one of the reasons such vital crossing were always clothed in ritual. It is wise in your own life to be able to recognize and acknowledge the key thresholds; to take your time; to feel all the varieties of presence that accrue there; to listen inward with complete attention until you hear the inner voice calling you forward. The time has come to cross.”
It is always a challenge to acknowledge and cross a new threshold. It demands courage and also a sense of trust in whatever is emerging.
This becomes essential when a threshold opens suddenly in front of you, one for which you had no preparation.
I am coaching, pastoring and loving people at the moment through a transition that they never asked for. Some of this due to illness, suffering or loss. Others through transitions that they made decisions to move into. There is just so much change.
But change does not equal threshold crossing.
Threshold crossing is noticed on a different level. It’s deeper. It requires enquiry, listening and intuition.
John O’Donohue goes on and says,
“A threshold need not be a threat, but rather an invitation and a promise. Whatever comes, the great sacrament of life will remain faithful to us, blessing us always with visible signs of invisible grace”
What rituals are you creating to notice the threshold? We would love to know what you are naming this threshold. Let us learn with you.
Jump over to Gather Women’s True Conversations FB group and let’s hear what one another are experiencing !
For 25 years Vanessa Hoyes has passionately loved and led people. She does this as a communicator, a coach, a church builder and a collaborator. She is married 21 years to Andrew, they have four daughters and are Aussies who pioneered a church in Montreal Quebec!!
Instagram: @vanessahoyes
Facebook: VanessaHoyes.com