Released To Love
by: Claire Odogbo
As the world honours black history this month I think about the strides that the black race has made in the western world. Although I am happy about our progress as a race, I feel like we are far from being where we should be as those who managed to break through the glass ceiling into the limelight represent a very small percentage of the black minority. Unfortunately, many of our black brothers and sisters do not dare to dream of a world where they are change agents and nation changers.
Last year I had the privilege of collaborating with my friend Valeria Edmonds and 12 other black women who have broken through that glass ceiling into a place of leadership in their fields. Together we compiled our stories in the book: The 9%: black women tell it like it is. Whilst that is a good thing, we by no means represent the majority of our black sisters in North America. In fact, the premise of the book was based on a report that only 9 per cent of women of colour hold senior management jobs in Corporates America. I suspect that those figures are about the same in our beloved nation or less.
During our collaboration one of the writing prompts was a letter to our younger selves. Since the time of writing the world has gone through its upheavals and America now has it’s first ever female vice president and a woman of colour at that. It was surely a very proud and inspiring moment for us black girls. However, there is still sadly the majority of black women who feel like they do not deserve a seat at the table because they are “nobody”. They compare themselves to their white counterparts and feel less than. To these women, I have one answer love- a redeeming and truly transforming love.
As a life coach and mother of girls, I journey with many women-young and old. I realise that no matter the race and stage of their lives or ministry we all struggle with deep insecurities and with self acceptance and perhaps love for ourselves. However, as scripture says in 1 Jn 4:19 we love because He first loved us.
Receiving our saviour’s love.
As a black woman of Nigerian descent, I have also had issues accepting myself- ethnicity, quirks and all. Like everyone, I have a deep desire to be liked, accepted and celebrated. I wish I knew in my 20s as a Nigerian in the diaspora that I was enough just by myself- that my background wasn't a drawback in a world (where I lived at that time) which celebrated being western over any other nationality. That love for myself and acknowledgement of my uniqueness would have helped me boldly take my seat at the table rather than shying away from the limelight because of my perceived inadequacies.
Thankfully, I didn't let those insecurities hold me back for long. I was on this journey of intimacy with the Lord and as I began to discover my identity in Christ who calls me holy, flawless and adored I realized that I am beautiful in the eyes of my King-warts and all. When my insecurities begin to vie for my attention and want to get the best of me I hear Him ask me: “Claire am I enough?”. My response is always Jesus you are enough for me. As I draw my affirmation and sense of worth from the Lord’s love and delight for me I feel empowered and more comfortable in my skin and ethnicity. I feel confident as I stand either in board rooms or on the stage often as the only black woman in that environment knowing that I am enough because He actually likes me. That brings such a smile to my face and a spring to my steps.
Released to love
I found that as I grew in the realization of His love for me, what people thought of me mattered less and less. I was now free to be me and released to love others. I was free to see people as just that- people, and fallen ones at that. As I deal with people from all walks of life, I see their hearts a long time before I “ see” their skin colour. God has the nations in his heart and as His child, I absolutely love diversity and getting to know people from diverse backgrounds. The fact that I hold to these ideals doesn’t mean that people aren’t sometimes mean and difficult but I can begin to see the love that made those early disciples who like their Lord said “Father forgive them, for they know not what they are doing” Luke 23:24. That kind of grace to love people irrespective of their treatment of us comes from basking in the passionate love of Christ for us- at least for me it does.
I am passionate about seeing bridges built and healing of scars and biases in the black community especially. Racism and racial profiling in all its forms have dealt a blow to the confidence of many black people to the point that we are not able to rise from it and every unpleasant treatment from a different race is viewed through racial lenses. However, after working and worshipping in a community of over 60 different nationalities, I began to understand various cultures, develop empathy as well as emotional intelligence. All these have sure helped me in my career and ministry.
I believe that diverse cultural awareness, empathy as well as emotional intelligence is so required in both our white and black communities. This will help us both understand each other and build bridges. One of the ways to achieve that change is to actively seek both racial, generational and socio-economic diversity in your relationships. If this isn’t easily achievable(especially in a covid-19 era) then I encourage you to read far and wide. One of the books I read during my doctoral studies which helped me understand various nationalities better is Geert Hofstede’s Cultures consequences. That book proved invaluable in understanding the many nationalities in my circle.
I look forward to the day when black women in this land and all across the world will see themselves as God sees them and rise in that identity to change the world. Till then, let us be intentional about encouraging and blessing those black women God places in our paths.
Dr. Claire Odogbo is an Author, Singer-Songwriter, Worship leader and Life Coach. She holds a PhD in Economics, an MBA, CPA and is a certified life breakthrough coach. Claire is passionate about helping people discover and walk in their God-given identities and potentials. She currently resides with her family in Ontario Canada.
Instagram: @claireodogbo