TRUE Alignment...Not Fear
by Bonnie Pue
So, you want to be a leader? Good! “Why are you so afraid of failing?”
A mentor asked me this on a FaceTime call and my mind raced to find an answer.
“Am I afraid of failing?” I quickly self-evaluated. I would like to think of myself as a courageous woman, willing to take risks in the direction of what I believed I was called to, I had shared with this mentor about how at a recent event, while meeting some new people, I had felt very misunderstood and even rejected to an extent because of it. I was wrestling with the disorienting emotions and trying to get a handle on them.
I wrote his question down and told him I’d give it some serious thought. The truth was that though I continued to step out and try things, I hated how waves of insecurity would try to upend me at times and leave me preoccupied with myself again.
“God, why am I so afraid of failing?” I turned my question to a prayer later that evening. In my mind, I quickly saw myself at a practice for a basketball team. In the line-up with other players, all of us eager and ready to play. But the thing was, I had this feeling that I had actually convinced the coach to let me play even though I knew I was inferior in skill and physicality.
All of a sudden I realized that I feared failure because I still thought that the calling on my life was MY idea. I realized that deep down, I thought that my participation in things I was passionate about was because I had somehow convinced God to “give me a chance.”
All of a sudden I realized that I feared failure because I still thought that the calling on my life was MY idea
Hence, any failure or grand mistake would be reason to lose out on any future chance.
This was a pivotal moment for me as I welcomed the words of God from Scripture to correct me and align me to truth.
Romans 11:29 “for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.”
John 15:16, “You did not choose me; I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit.”
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you.”
The list of similar verses goes on and on. And I’d heard these verses countless times and been convicted and moved by them, but it was as though God was wanting deeper alignment with His truth for me. He wanted to eliminate even more fear and insecurity out of my life. And I had to yield to it and believe Him.
Here’s the reality for you today - maybe YOU have heard these verses a million times. I challenge you to take a moment and ask the kind Holy Spirit, “Why am I so afraid of failure?” Or even, “Why have I allowed fear to stop me from doing what I know I need to do?”
Maybe your answer will be different than mine. Regardless, I know that you will find peace and boldness when you lean into God’s true intentions for you. So, whether you feel called to become an accountant, to write a book, to take a theology course, to initiate a mom’s group, or learn to play an instrument, you don’t have to try to prove yourself along the way.
He is more committed to your fruitfulness than you are
He saw you before you saw Him.
He called you before you called out for Him.
He loved you before you loved Him.
He saw the treasure in you before you ever did.
And, I know that He is more committed to your fruitfulness than you are. So then, as we step out and take risks, we can rest knowing that He will never cut us from the team. He died so that we could be a part of it.
Bonnie Pue is a speaker, writer, and podcaster, but most of her time and energy is spent as a homeschooling mother to 5 young sons. She and her husband Bryan have been leaders in their local church community for over a decade, and they recently launched The Union Movement, a ministry focused on bringing health in the interconnected areas of sexuality, relationships, family, and church culture. Bonnie lives on the West Coast of British Columbia, and loves getting out on the hiking trails nearby. Connect with Bonnie on the Gram @bonniepue @theunionmovement