Discovering a Kingdom Purpose
by: Rebecca Doner
As far back as I can remember I have loved classic movies. That might explain why anyone who knows me well will have likely heard me say at some point or another “I always wanted to be Audrey Hepburn, but instead I was destined to be Lucille Ball”. I have tried to think of a more modern reference, but one escapes me as these two women were both truly one of a kind. Perhaps I might refer to the ever popular movie Frozen and suggest something like I longed to be Elsa but was destined instead to be Anna.
Anyway, I can not remember all of the Audrey Hepburn movies I saw as a child, but I know I loved them, and to this day My Fair Lady ranks among one of my favourite movies. For those of you who have seen it, the moment where Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle descends the staircase ready to head to the Embassy Ball was the defining moment for me of how I thought I should be. Her poise, grace, charm and gracious, soft-spoken manner was all so perfect…she was simply stunning! I, however, was not those things. I was loud, chatty, boisterous and a little wild - more like the Eliza at the start of the film, the Eliza they did away with. The truth was I was much more like Lucille Ball stuffing her mouth full of chocolates in the factory (please find this video and watch it if you have not seen it) than Audrey Hepburn on that staircase.
As I think back, what was unusual was, if you had asked me if I liked who I was I would have emphatically said “Yes!” I was quite confident and self assured in many ways. I would have explained that it was not that I did not like my confidence or the spunk we shall call it, that I had, it was rather that somewhere along the way I decided that these were lesser than, or wrong qualities.
Unfortunately, this belief was only reinforced in my early teen years when Jesus found me and I started to follow Him. My lack of understanding of scripture and who God was led me to read verses like:
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 or “The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.” 1 Peter 3:4 and many other verses like them as affirmation of what I had always believed, that despite what I thought or felt, somehow I was in need of a change.
I believed I was chaos and needed God to do a Genesis work in me - to fix me.
Well, it took some time but God did indeed do a Genesis work in my life. Not perhaps how you might imagine, but in the most unexpected and beautiful way, in a way that only God could. He did not change my personality, but rather He revealed Himself to me in such a way that I was awakened to the beautiful truth that God made me. I didn’t need to alter the attributes I believed were problematic, things like being too loud, too bossy, too fast, too smart, too determined, too busy. Rather than change them, I needed to see their Kingdom purpose.
In time, God would purpose my being “too loud” into being a gifted communicator.
He would take my being “too fast” and unleash a flood not just of activity but productivity.
“Too smart” became His gift of strategic thinking.
“Too busy” became my ability to schedule and manage many activities and to rarely tire in service to the Lord.
“Too determined” was redefined as my gift of carrying a large load that would allow me to love and support many around me.
“Too bossy” led me to being a successful entrepreneur and leader in the marketplace and ministry so that I might not only be discipled but disciple others.
It is so apparent to me looking back that I did in fact need a Genesis moment in the chaos of my life - just not the one I was expecting or believed I needed.
Through my understanding of who God is, how He loves me and the knowledge that I was designed, purposed and chosen before the foundation of the world my mind was renewed with the understanding that it wasn’t who I was that needed to be changed, it was my perception about the value of the gifts I had been given and the understanding of who gave them to me.
The beauty of this new perspective for all of us is that we always have the opportunity to come to God and to humbly seek Him and learn about who He is and what that means for us in each of our lives. Then, as we approach God and fall in surrender before Him, we no longer need to ask “Why am I like this?” But rather we can seek to understand “What kingdom purpose do you have for me in this?’
You were designed and purposed exactly how you are for a reason, and it is only through the lens of the who God created you that you will see just how incredible His purpose in you is!
I hope that each of you reading this who may be struggling to see how you fit into this world might have a Genesis moment in light of who God is today and discover His Kingdom purpose in you.
Rebecca Doner is wife to her high-school sweetheart, and mom to four amazing kids. She works full time in business partnership with her sister-in-law. She serves on the Elder’s board at her local church and is actively involved in several ministries there. She is a speaker who eagerly uses her voice to impart to the God's love, life, and truth to the world. Most recently she has felt led to serve on the executive team at Gather Women - a national women’s ministry, and in her ‘spare time’ is studying for her MTS (Masters of Theological Studies) at Tyndale Seminary.
www.rebeccadoner.com IG: @lifeinoverflow