Approaching God When You Feel Unworthy
by: Jessa Marie Zabala
We all have those seasons that we wish we could do over. Those moments in time when all we could do was cling to God because we were lost. When we kept repeating the same mistake; asking for forgiveness only to do it again. Choosing something we know isn’t good for us, and not trusting that God has something better.
We feel like we have to be perfect or fixed in order to approach God, forgetting that it’s God who fixes us; changes us. We need His grace to free us from our guilt and shame. We need His help and strength to overcome our sin.
But how do we approach God when we feel unworthy? How do we pray or open up our bibles when we’ve sinned over and over again?
Before we tackle this topic, I feel like I should tell you about a season in my life. Hopefully it’ll help you feel less alone in whatever you might be struggling with right now.
When I started university as a stressed and overwhelmed engineering student, I met a boy. And he was that boy, the one that makes all your past crushes mean nothing. The one that understands you like you’ve known him forever even though it’s only been a month. The first boy you ever call ‘the one’ and mean it. And also…the first boy that truly wrecks you.
When I look back on that fall semester now, it’s hard to believe that it would be the start of a toxic relationship that would last years. One that was a constant cycle of falling in love and heartbreak. One that only ended because I decided to move away; a decision I made during the heartbreak part of the cycle.
Yet somehow, even though I was constantly asking God for it to be over, I continued making decisions that weren’t in line with what I was asking for. I kept falling back into that “situationship” and feeling guilty all over again.
Sometimes after being Christians for so long, we feel like we should be better at repentance. And that we can’t go to God again until we’ve fixed whatever we asked forgiveness for the last time; like when you’ve failed in your purity again after promising God you wouldn’t.
We end up in this mindset: “What’s the point, if I know I’m going to mess up again? It’s not fair to ask God for forgiveness and accept His grace, when I can’t fix this part of me.”
That was me.
But now in these moments, I ask myself, when was the last time I experienced a “sin-free” day? A day when I didn’t tell a white lie, gossip, feel lazy, get angry, or even worry? Because yes, the bible says “do not worry” several times (Matthew 6:25-27).
We feel perfectly okay approaching God and asking for forgiveness when it comes to these “smaller” sins. And yet, we feel ashamed approaching Him with “bigger sins”, like failing in our purity, stealing, or committing adultery. But that isn’t how God views sin or how we should. All sin is unholy in God’s eyes (James 2:10-11).
So when you feel unworthy approaching God, remember the truth found in God’s Word.
Because God wants us to come to Him the most in exactly those times. The times we feel like a failure for not upholding our promises (Matthew 11:28-30). He wants us to unload that part of us, so He can work in us. Repentance isn’t something you do once, and sometimes God needs more time than just a 5 minute prayer of confession.
Yes, we might keep failing, but it doesn’t mean we should stop going to God for help, forgiveness, and grace. Even Paul can relate to this:
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. - Romans 7:14-19 NIV
With humility, have faith that He loves you and will forgive you. Keep approaching God as many times as it takes for you to finally truly repent, and trust that He can and will change you.
Jessa Marie Zabala was born and raised in Toronto, Ontario. She has been a Christian for 9 and a half years. And when she’s not working on space robots at her day job, she’s writing for her blog Life is Rosy, a lifestyle blog dedicated to helping women in their twenties navigate adulthood. Follow her journey on her blog or connect with her on Instagram